ANNIE FRAZIER HALLADAY
The people I choose to surround myself with are the ones that bring their own terms to the negotiation table. A fierce sense of self, right and wrong, their own true north, what they have to offer and what they crave from those around them.
I want them to know themselves: their own knowledge and experiences, and the things they are still curious about. Their ticklish spots, their sensitive spots, their vulnerabilities and strengths.
A familiarity with themselves that I can nestle in next to, with all the ease of slipping in next to a lover doing dishes at the kitchen sink. They already know how to wash dishes, just looking for someone to dry. A counterpart to be comrades in community, armed and ready with dishcloth and sponge.
‘Anything you want is good enough for me,’ is not good enough for me. I want the people that are passionate about their desires- that hold them dear enough to make a stand and accept nothing less. The people brave enough to wait for the terms that align just right. No placeholders, no fillers, no back burners- just the courage to say to yourself “only the best for you, my dear,” and mean it.
And it does take courage. It takes bravery. To love yourself enough to not give in to the connections and circles that are not a match. To trust that you are wonderful enough that people will come along and love you more than you thought possible. Even on the days your self love is shaky or seems nonexistent.
I don’t require full actualization and I don’t subscribe to the notion that ‘if you don’t love yourself, no one else will’. But I do seek out the people who know the cards they are holding and are willing to play them unafraid, knowing they may lose it all in doing so.
It takes courage to be vulnerable enough to have your terms to be rejected, or to reject the terms that are not right for you. It takes courage to forge relationships not from chance and momentum but from choice and compatibility. It takes bravery to reject complacency and false securities, choosing instead to favor authenticity and active choice.
To look unblinkingly in the face of uncertainty and thrust open your arms is no small thing.
I want to know the people that can meet me there.